LadyNaija just said:

Why couples’ therapy does not work for some couples

If things are not going so well in your marriage, I always advocate that you try couples’ therapy before you throw in the towel. 

This may mean seeing a professional or even just an older person that has been married for longer and stayed happy in the marriage.

Inasmuch as going down this route is supposed to yield a positive result; that is not always the case but, why?

1. A mindset problem

The type of mindset many people have about couples’ therapy stops them from reaping its benefits. Some people believe that it is for losers. Going into any kind of therapy with this notion does not allow you to enjoy the process. Some go as far as assuming that the therapist will only make matters worse.

2. One person has already given up

If one party has given up on the marriage already, then it will be impossible for the therapy to work out. People that believe, “We are not meant for each other anymore,” will not put in the work to make it better.

3. Toxic masculinity

The culture of telling men that they must be strong, unwavering, and emotionally distant does not make it easy for them to open up about their fears and vulnerabilities. When they don’t open up, they can’t work on the marriage.

4. Poorly qualified therapists

As much as I don’t like to say this, some of the marriage counsellors we have are not qualified. They bring in their personal biases into the equation and that stops them from giving their best to the couple. Make sure, you get someone who has been properly certified or someone who has been endorsed by someone you trust.

Couples’ therapy really works, if you give it your all. 

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