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What consent truly means

With the recent spate in rape and other sexual offences, the word ‘consent’ has been thrown around a lot.

Once upon a time, the word was hardly ever used in connection with sexual relations, but now, it has become a keyword. Yet, so many people do not really understand it, including women.

Simply put, consent as it pertains to sex, means that you are giving permission to someone else to access your body in a sexual manner. It does not matter if it downright sex or not. Consent is still needed when it something as ‘simple’ as touching your body.

If you do not give someone consent to touch you in any way, then that is a sexual violation. 

However, we must come to understand that consent can be either verbal or non-verbal. Many men do not realize that a woman may not necessarily say ‘no’ verbally but her actions show whether or not she is giving consent. For example, a guy cannot say that a woman who is pushing him off likes it rough simply because she did not say ‘no’ out loud.

However, I should add that for the sake of a court case; make sure that your consent is always verbal. Guys, try to get verbal consent from her as well. 

Another point to note on this issue is the fact that consent can be withdrawn at any time. Even if the guy is fully erect and ready to penetrate, you have the right to suddenly change your mind because it is your body and no one should force you to do something you don’t want to do. 

Guys might say that this is unfair but note that consent must go hand-in-hand with an understanding of what the sexual relations entail. For example, she had thought you two were only making out. She may give consent for that but if she realizes that things are getting more serious, she can withdraw her consent. 

Therefore, always make sure that she knows beforehand what is about to go down.

On the hand, ladies, to be honest, it is unfair that some of us deliberately taunt guys by withdrawing consent at the dying minute or saying no, only to blame him later on for not trying hard enough.

Serious things are happening around us. We cannot take consent for granted.

What do you think about consent?

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