LadyNaija just said:

Handling marital pressure from your family

 In Nigeria, the pressure to get married almost always comes from family and it is usually so difficult to handle because you can’t cut them off. 

Even if they are not nagging you, they may be up to different ruses to set you up.

In fact, a friend’s recent experience is that her aunt insisted that she travelled down to meet a man that had been arranged for her. When my friend got there, her aunt was disappointed that she was carrying a weave and forced her to go to a salon to remove it because the guy in question did not like artificial hair or makeup. Let’s not get into the other horrible things that happened but her aunt advised her to quit her job in another city and move back home so that the guy around would know that she was still available. 

Obviously, this is crap but this is one of the good stories. What of those they are taken to shrines? 

There is no hard and fast rule on how to handle this matter but I believe it begins with you—how strong your self-image and self-awareness is will grant you peace of mind and confidence. I admit that these are not enough but they are great starts to withstanding the pressure so you don’t run off with the next guy you meet or sink into depression. 

Secondly, if you can then you should stay away from them. I am not saying that you should cut your family off but if you can reduce how often you see them then go for it.

Third, get an ally. You can’t go through stuff like this alone so get someone on the inside (your family) who will always be on your side even when it feels like the others are ganging up against you. 

It is a tough road but many have walked this path and were not consumed. You’ll be fine. 

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